Thursday, September 02, 2004
~
The Elephant* In The Room:
I have mentioned to you all before that I am in fact a registered Democrat, right? Right?! Well, in my crowd, I’m certainly not alone. I’ve never voted Republican {never; as in; not once ever in my life}. My parents are registered Democrats as well. As is my younger brother {the middle kid, the youngest brother isn’t sure whether or not he’s registered or, if he’s ever voted – don’t ask me to explain the brain of a 25 year old guy}.
I think everyone is a Dem. at some point. {I’m willing to amend that, as I think nearly everyone who has gone to college, is at some point a Dem.} How can you not be? When you are in your early 20’s you’re wildly compassionate, wildly optimistic and thoroughly altruistic. And when they do what they do correctly, the Democratic Party screams common sense from every direction, corner and parapet.
Share the wealth? Great idea!! Give a little to a family with far less? Of course! Who doesn’t want to help those with less. Those sketchy kids on your corner? By all means let’s throw their school some cash for a computer and some afterschool programs. Preserve wetlands and don’t destroy Alaska with oil drilling? Well, all I’ve heard of Alaska is nearly pure beauty, naturally that ought to remain as pristine as possible. Hands off please! Open up the borders? Hell yes! After all, that’s how Ari’s dad emigrated here 34 years ago. It takes a village? How could it not? Let’s ALL pitch in and help get it done, after all, I love my neighbors and community is incredibly important to me. So you sit down with your voter registration form and there’s no question. Because really, are you going to vote for the chauvinistic, misogynistic, money hungry, minority hating, nearly Aryan for god’s sake, Republicans?!! Of course you aren’t. Your middle name is Michelle or Scott, not Satan! So there you have it. You’re an ass. Oops, I mean a donkey *wink*.
At least that is how I came to be a Democrat. An urban, Jewish, female, child of an immigrant Democrat. But here’s the part where things start to get a little gray and fuzzy.
2003 rolls up on us and the Democrats start pushing Howard Dean. Jesus H. Christ, do I even have to touch on all the reasons why that was a colossal error and disgrace? And if Dean was your candidate… well, shame on you. So, we ultimately get to John F. Kerry {John F. K-… oh, different Massachusetts Democrat, my bad}.
Well well well Mr. Kerry. Still in Vietnam are you? For what was it, remind me, 4 years, right? No? Oh, 4 months. And John McCain? I want to say if I recall correctly he was there for what, a few years, right? For all the freedom and liberties this country has, had and will continue to provide for Mr. Kerry and his family you’d think he could have done his tour and just shut the fuck up about it {esp. 30 some odd years later, sheesh!}. Guess not. {For the record, in some countries, you have no choice. You live there, you defend there. No choice. Hi Israel.} I’m thinking sometime towards the end of October he may actually start removing clothes and showing off his scars. Whiny. But forget how much I don’t like Kerry as a person. I don’t like his ideas – not that he’s actually orated any. And the parties are no longer as black and white as they were. The Dem. platform alone I have grown to have HUGE issues with.
Sharing the wealth, great idea, but I have none and my taxes are astronomical as it is. And I live two blocks away from NYC housing “projects” and you know what? That damn parking lot is full of tinted windowed Escalades. And the girls that get on the bus at that stop? Well, they have the real $899 Marc Jacobs bags, not the street knockoffs. And a seven letter name, spelled out in diamonds can’t be cheap either. So my just less than $1000 biweekly check? I think I need it more than you do. And I don’t want to share it anymore. I work at a non-profit, that means I don’t profit. My teeny tiny little check is just too small to serve us all.
And throwing your kids school some money? I wouldn’t mind as much if your kids weren’t on the street at 11 o’clock in the morning cursing like merchant marines. But if your kid isn’t even going to get himself to school maybe my household could use the Dell PC a little more. And if you want your kids to have a specific {read: religious} education, try doing what my innovative parents did, work to earn the money to pay for it. Your kid isn’t entitled to learn the Old or New Testament on my dime. Algebra? Sure. Creationism? Not so much.
Leaving Alaska alone? Great in theory, but then you have to buy it from the Saudis who we then have to keep on our good side. I’m not really fond of cajoling the sponsors of terrorism. So… what do we do there? I’m all for innovative energy, but hell, no one’s mentioned that yet.
The borders. Ok, what worked well 60 years ago when your grandparents boated on over doesn’t hold today. Not everyone comes here looking for a better life and putting into the economy what they take out. There are far less immigrants who start businesses, learn English, attempt to assimilate or carve out futures for themselves {mind you I said “far less”, not none – hold off on the hate mail}. Now our country has turned into some sort of get rich quick scheme. Come here, live off the country’s programs, make a fortune, send it home and then follow soon after, a far wealthier individual. And those are the non-lethal immigrants. You may have heard, some people actually come here to hurt us. Letting more people in, when we have little to no idea of who is here right now is insanity. I’d never suggest closing every border, or denying asylum, but I think we need to slow it down a bit and catch our collective breath. Call me crazy.
And the whole; It Takes a Village. No it doesn’t. It takes a village idiot. Because the second I agree to help raise your kid, you’ll sue me for molesting it. Or, you’ll take off leaving me far too involved. You’ll probably swagger back with a few other kids too. And if we’re all in the village square, what happens to everything else that’s fallen by the wayside? And when do you learn that you can’t bite off more than you can chew? If you have 8 kids, well you damn well better be able to care for your 8 kids. I’m not saying abort it {but that’s ok with me – your body, your choice}, but consider adoption. Consider thinking practically. When “god” {be that as it may} advocated having as many children as stars in the sky, people had their own farms and grew their own food. Their kids needed clothes, not clothes from Scoop and not $110 Michael Jordan basketball sneakers, literal cloths to keep their toes from freezing And falling off. The world has evolved a bit since Jesus walked it. As for me – well, I’m saving up for the ones I may have one day. And if you can’t swing it, go to your church or temple with your hand out. Keep me and my tiny check out of it
The Democrats {namely Bill Clinton, whom I’d voted for AND adored}, supposedly lifelong friends to Israel, convince a weakened Prime Minister to give nearly all of Israel away. A reward for Arab squatting and warmongering. Hmm… remind me to use that Arab tactic on my neighbors, should the day arrive where I want to break through the wall and merge apts A and B.
And make no mistake about it, Kerry isn’t pro gay rights. He hasn’t offered up the Gay Marriage bribe. That would certainly pique my interest. And he isn’t bolstering the pro choice cause either {of which I am a strident believer}. Nope. Mr. Kerry believes that life begins at inception. So where is the divergence? If you see it, well then it’s in your wildest imagination. Kerry wants to let the U.N. monitor our elections. Did you know that Kofi Annan hates the US with a passion previously reserved for Hitler towards Jews? Sure, let Kofi man the election booth. And while we’re at it; Kathryn Harris for Attorney General, do I hear the battle cry?
And Kerry would like to see terrorists tried in the US court of law. I see. We do all realize that you have to commit a crime before you can be tried, right? Yeah, I’m not really comfortable waiting for the next 9/11 before Kerry would wake up. {Wait, should I check with the DNC to see if I’m allowed to invoke the memory and image of 9/11 – I do realize that September 11, 2001 solely belongs to Democrats – hmm… maybe because they allowed to happen? But I digress}.
So yes, I think Karl "parachutes are genius!" Rove is a moron. Yes, it makes my ears bleed when I hear Bush stumble over the simplest of syntax. Yes, I hate the war in Iraq – but when left to the Dems we let Kenya go, Nairobi go, the Cole, the first bombing of the WTC and we were rewarded with 9/11. But on 9/11 I was a New Yorker, as I’ve been for 32 years. With my entire family within a 15 mile radius. And on 9/12 I smelled that acrid air and knew what I was smelling. And I don’t ever want to smell that again. I don’t want to see those sobbing faces all over the news again. Sure, there are countries and people who hate us. But you know what? When you are the United States, free, diverse, rich and happy, someone, somewhere will always hate you. So to appease them all seems stupid. And unnecessary, as no country can survive without a handout from the U.S. from time to time, so they’ll just have to get over it at some point and come back to us, hand out and open as usual. And yes, I feel that what goes on in my body is my business. And I don't care that some believe a fetus is a life because you know what? Christian Scientists believe you can buy or chant or whateverthefuck a cancerous tumor out of yourself and I wouldn't want them dictating right-to-life issues either. And yes, it pisses me off that the GOP thinks they have the right to point at any section of society and declare them less than the rest. I don't like the govt. declaring who I should discriminate against. Gays can’t get married… well why the fuck not?!! The Constitution says all men are created equal, well to me, that means gays are entitled to marry. Rick Santorum, you suck and to echo the sentiments of one Ken Wheaton, I wish homosexuality on all your children. But here’s what it boils down to…
if I’m wearing a burqa or a body bag, I can’t have an abortion anyway.
So ~ I’m outing myself. There’s an elephant in the room ladies and gentlemen. I’m not saying where I’ll stand when 2008 arrives {although if Kerry wins my guess is 6 feet south}. But this year? I’m voting for the guy that wants to save my life. Not the one who, with the blessing of the U.N., might at some point, be willing to avenge it afterwards.
Fuck you John Kerry, you’re a pussy.
*elephant = pachyderm
10:24 PM
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