Monday, January 22, 2007
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Fuck the Ides:
The Ides of March are bullshit. My birthday is in March which automatically makes March the best month in the entire world. Also the bestest-looking wig month (five+ points if you know what that's from - leave it in the comments).
I'm scared of April. Tax time. When my dad does my taxes. Also the exact same time of year in which I anticipate he will see my ING statement. And he will see how I have allowed unemployment to deplete that account of valuable, well saved (til now) funds. Not fully - not b a long shot, but I still made a little (noticeable) dent. Ugh. He's going to freak out. It's not that the money is his. Or even money that he gave me. No, it's money that a dead relative was kind enough to not be buried with. But it's also money that was supposed to go to my marital or spinster home (either way). Money for which I could buy my kid braces or just buy my(self a) kid. Money to use for my wedding. Or my lavish spending on manwhores. Or both. It was meant to always be a cushion, which it is certainly serving as now, but not the way I (or he) ever intended.
Instead it has gone to my apartment's management company. To RCN (service was briefly suspended today due to lack of payment - oops), Target, the local pizzeria, Empire kosher chicken, Kellogg's, Duane Reade, Pantene, Folgers and Charmin. So less interesting than any of the above items. The draining of the ING account is only slightly less traumatic because of a teeny tiny unemployment check. But that usually goes to pot on candy, magazines and poker (barely kidding). I should have found a decent job by now, but I haven't. I have found situations that would be as bad or worse than before. I just can't do that to myself. In fact, that's exactly what myself is for - saving me - not letting me fuck me over any worse than I have to. Also, work is unappetizing and then there are those lame jobs I've interviewed for thus far. Sadly, the most interesting interview I've been on was with a company that does some really interesting work - but - is located on a desolate street, under the bridge, in downtown Brooklyn (far) and is looking to pay far less than I can afford to earn. Crap.
I have another interview Wednesday; for a plastic surgery practice conveniently located in my general neighborhood. I believe the position is only four days a week though - an interesting aspect. They also know what I'm looking for financially and still want to meet with me - sorta strange, but again; interesting.
I'm not worried too deeply about the account. I will get a job again (soon, please) and I can then (hopefully) afford to build the account back up to where it was/should be. But the inevitable conversation is going to suck and then there's that bit of parental disappointment, always fun. But I know that employment, money and I will not always be on such bad terms and it sure would be nice if ING and I could stop speaking to one another.
Totally off topic - Snakes on a Plane was completely fun.Labels: about me, job, news, random
3:46 PM
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
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Math With My Brother:
Him: "Did I wake you?"
Me: "Are you nuts? I already walked both dogs and cleaned up the kitchen."
Him: "I bet you're still in bed liar."
Me: "Ew. Not. What do you want."
Him: "You're good at math, right? Not dad good, but good, right?"
Me: "Ish, what do you need?"
Him: "Ok, how many inches is 500 millimeters."
Me: "16. No! Wait, it's 20. Definitely 20."
Him: "What?"
Me: "20. Are you going deaf?"
Him: "There's no way you knew that, I don't believe you. Why would you even know that?"
Me: "I guess I was there that day."Labels: brother, math
12:21 PM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
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Laker Girl, Shaker Girl:
I'm 34 minutes into this season's American Idol and I have to ask, does Paula Abdul have Parkinson's? WTF? Sit still for .00024 seconds! Damn she's unnerving to watch.
Incidentally, according to Wikipedia, Paula Abdul is Jewish. Who knew?Labels: jewish, paula abdul
8:35 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007
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Ari - From A to Z*:
(* though X seems to be missing)
I’ve been tagged by Lola:
A- available? Uhm, yes. Mystifyingly so. (ref: every post I ever posted)
B- best friend? what am I, 9 years old? I'll tell you this though, it's Joe that gets the unvarnished truth.
C- cake or pie? Pie, the fruitier the better.
D- drink of choice? I really only drink 3 things; diet coke, coffee, water/seltzer.
E- essential item I use every day: I’m guessing air is to obvious? Ok then, a toothbrush.
F- favorite color? Orange (and should you feel inclined to ever help me update my blog, orange will be front and center.)
G- gummy bears or gummy worms? Neither, I shun all things gum and/or gummy.
H- hometown? Brooklyn baby.
I- indulgence? Shoes.
J- january or february? Neither, I’m a Pisces and therefore I love my March.
K- kids and names: None, therefore they remain nameless (that’ll teach them).
L- life is incomplete without? Dog, family, friends, Dog 2 and trees.
M- marriage date: Bahahahahaha – is this your first Ari Goes Down visit?!
N- number of siblings: Two.
O- oranges or apples? Apples. Green apples. (I love the color orange, the fruit, not so much).
P- phobias or fears? Deathly fear of failure (par for the control-freak-course).
Q- favorite quote? I enjoy most lines from Heathers and Bill Murray movies.
R- reasons to smile? Still not dead!!
S- season? Spring.
T- tag: Joe and Dawn.
U- unknown fact about me: I have to fall asleep with my ears covered.
V- vegetable you don't like: Cooked carrots why would you cook a carrot?!?! Disgusting!!)
W- worst habit: Ha! I’m a study in bad habits. Self-sabotage should cover it.
Y- your favorite food? Ice cream! Mint chocolate chip Breyer’s. I also like cheese.
Z- zodiac? Pisces.Labels: Lola, Tagged
6:56 PM
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
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Reasons:
There are better ones than, not dying alone. A reluctance to go to movies myself. Crushing my parents. Letting my relatives wonder forever if I’m a lesbian. Jealousy of my friends. Saving and keeping all my money and sanity. Having a kid by myself. Doing laundry for one. Letting someone else show lost mice and insects to the door. Having someone else able to drive if I can’t.
There’s the possibility of someone with whom I could share a secret. The wonder of watching our combined DNA take a first step. A hand to squeeze under the table when my mother starts in on whatever comes after; “why can’t you find yourself a nice guy already?”.
I want to be in love. I want to be with someone I can’t be without. I want to have a baby before my uterus tells me I’m better off hopping a slow boat to China. I want to have a baby while my parents can enjoy it, tell it horror stories of me from my youth. I’m such a dork I even want Dog to meet my one-day-baby. I don’t want to lose touch with my baby having friends. If anything, I want to play catch-up with them.
No one wants to be left behind.Labels: babies
2:15 PM
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
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Help!
Because Blogger sucks ass all my archives are gone. To whomever reads me and can possibly help, do so and your wish is my command. I have 5 years of posts lined up and I want them back. Either they get restored or I'm quitting on Blogger forever and going elsewhere - you're the reader, you decide what you want to see.
*I'm totally prepared to ditch Blogger altogether though so if you are able and willing to help that would be amazing.
**Please do not leave comments about other sites I can use, I'm aware of them, I need help with the actual html parts.
*update* Because Hilary is so damn awesome my archives are back. If anyone else is having issues with this, here is what she found that ended up working for me: fix-it.
Labels: blogger, help, hilary, sucks
4:57 PM
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Just Some Stuff
Happy New Year.. Whee I had fun - hope you did too.
Now, enough with the niceties, back to my usual comments, complaints and questions. Today I present them to you in a random and bulleted form. Enjoy.
- Holy god, are they ever going to bury poor, dead Gerald Ford? I remember his entry into the White House when I was little. He was a great guy, but this is alot of dragging a dead man around. I'm starting to get a little creeped out by it. It's been over a week, enough already, no?
- Earrings? On guys? In 2007? And yes, I realize that we're only 3 days in to 2007 but regardless. to recap; earrings on guys, not cute. Some guys with earrings are cute though - interesting.
- Courteney Cox's new show... not bad but I miss Chandler. Oh! The photographer guy though is downright awful, hate him. Need Chandler.
- I am madly, deeply, wildly in love with my new cell phone. It is an inappropriate love, I'm telling you. The Verizon LG8600 - l. o. v. e.
- I watched Zach Braff's The Last Kiss earlier tonight. Holy fuck talk about the feel-good movie of the decade for us single people. I'm not sure if I was meant to feel suicidal at the end but yikes, depressing beyond belief.
- At some point during the weekend I also saw The Descent. It was pretty good but here's an idea; if studios are going to continue the cheapass tactic of filming "horror scenes" in the pitch dark, TV manufacturers should add a brighten feature to the sets. The darkness that these movies are filmed in is nonsense - I'm not a fucking owl.
- I've had a photo printer since March. I opened the box Monday night (during one of the pitch black scenes in The Descent).
- I upgraded to the fancy new Blogger; anyone know where the HELL my archives (FIVE YEARS WORTH!!!) went?! Grrr... help.
Labels: archives, earrings, gerald ford
1:09 AM
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